Colorgenics

You want to be regarded as an exiting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to 'try anything once'. Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

You feel truly deprived - not getting your fair share, but you have accepted the fact that that is the way things are at this time and that it is prudent to let matters slide and not hit your head against the wall -so conform and agree for a while. Accept the situation - nothing can last forever.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.

You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality

3 days from my first exam

I am really tired today, so I am just going to drop a few lines

It's a great day today, after talking to Nomis online. For some reasons, I feel really happy when he jokes and laughs around with me. I just hope that he feels as happy as I am. Obviously he doesn't know me that well, since he thinks I am young and naive. It's great to hear, cos I am young and naive to him lol.

ER wasn't that busy today. However, something special happened. A lady with migraine came in today. All of a sudden she started crying. I got some napkins for her and she started talking to me. I felt sorry for her because she suffered from a lot of pain. However, I was also self satisfied because I convinced her to stay. I sat with her, waited with her, listened to her, then she stopped crying. She finally stayed and got to see the doctor before I left. I am sure she is going to be fine. But I think this is exactly what I am seeking through the whole volunteering experience. Waiting for long hours in the waiting room isn't fun at all, especially when you're in pain. Yay! I helped!

Alrighty, I am going to meet with the TA tomorrow to discuss about the genetics exam. I hate genetics! Hopefully I won't get yelled at tomorrow because I still don't have a clue in genomics and gene therapy.

Take control girl

I swear it's a mistake.

In order to get rid of someone in your mind, just freaking stop talking to this person, completely erase this person from your life.

Take control girl, you don't want to fall in another trap right now. You know how bad it hurts, how much time you waste, how much tears you drop and how painful it could be.

Trust me, don't go.

Stay focus and don't look at the illusions created. Don't be a fool, you know how to protect yourself.

msn is a mistake.
phone call is a mistake.
even a business card is a mistake.

Stop it before you come to a stage that you cannot be rescued.

One word,

"NO!!!!!!!!!"

Nice Saturday morning

I haven't seen saturday morning in a while. Since I was so exhausted from work yesterday, I decided to go to bed earlier last night. When I woke up, it was already 8:30am. I took a shower, and lied on the bed, staring at my fishes. I was day dreaming for AN HOUR. Seriously, lying there and day dreaming, ONE HOUR, the whole freaking HOUR. I was thinking about what happened if my sister couldn't get into university this year. She will have to move back to Hong Kong, and I will be left alone. I will have to find a place to move and a roomie. Where am I going to live? Who am I going to live with? Those are the things I was thinking about. Then I thought about Nomis, since he didn't come yesterday. I was glad to hear that things are working well for him, and he is less stressful. And because I don't know him that well, I have lots of rooms to think about his personality. He could be like this, and like that, or something I couldn't imagine. hehe funny to think about.

When I think it was time to stop thinking about nonsense and got my ass to work, I went online and guess who I saw online. One special thing happened though. My screen name said "the worst mistake ever" and then an angry smiley. I was still really really upset about what happened wednesday night with my computer. And surprisingly, he asked me what happened. This one sentence of concern made me feel that...hm...he is not only a patient of mine, but also a friend who cares, although I certainly have a bigger sense of responsibility to care about him. I didn't tell him what happened cos I felt stupid. But that one tiny bit of concern is much more than fixing the computer.

Day dream contents:
what happened when sister goes to HK and I am left alone?
personality of nomis
hmb exam
stupid computer
should you choose a guy who can take care of you, or a guy who NEEDs you to take care of? it may just depend on me.
It means do you want to be one of the "things" a guy needs to take care of, or do you want to be a girl who means the whole world to a guy?

Disappointment

I thought I was going to see Nomis tonight. However, he called again and rescheduled. Damn, I am not working at all next week because of my exam. I am not going to see him again unless Tigers really have a poker tournament. So disappointed. I don't know if I should call him just to have a coffee. Well, it should be after my exams then, if I still want to call him. Man, what am I thinking? I don't like this. Things are not working out as I planned, had a good night study, good day of work before seeing him. I know I know, "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." What...I am just disappointed that I couldn't talk to him today. And guess who picked up the reschedule phone call today? I was right beside the phone at the moment, and I knew it was him this time. I recognized.