Moonrise

It was nice to be at the beach again. I think I am slowly improving my game. It's all in my head. It depends on if I want to throw a good game or not. If I want to, I think more, and find the spot. If not, I hit whatever, wherever, and the ball most likely goes into the net. The net today was ridiculously high. I got freaked out from the height of the net, cos there was no way I can hit it over. Just hopefully, it looks easier when we play on a lower net.

Anyways, the volleyball part was not the highlight of the day. It was the moonrise that amazed me the most. In the game, I looked towards the lake, the calm lake ontario. The sky was in different colours. From the blue sky, it kinda blended into turquoise,green, yellow green, yellow, orange, red, violet, then another layer of blue just on the surface of the lake. It was the prettiest thing I have seen these days. My tongue envy my eyes, since no word can explain this wonderous scene.

I stared at this scene for a while, then I saw a white semicircle on the surface of the lake. "Hey Ron, look at that, it's the moon, it's rising!!" "No, it's the sun." "No, what direction is this?" "It's probably East. Does the sun comes up from the East?" "Yes, the sun leaves from the west, the moon comes up from the East! Otherwise they crush!"

So, it was the moonrise. It got bigger every minute. By the time we got to the car, we already saw a full moon in peach colour.

God, you're awesome!!!

HE wipe my tears

My eyes were sore from crying last night. I have not been this sad for such a long long time. Waking up with this pair of swollen, heavy eyes, I went to church, to Jesus' house, to talk to Him.

He was the first person I saw at church today. Fortunately he did not walk away when he saw me. He talked to me, concerning about my future and departure. Accidentally, I slipped out the fact that I was upset. I had no idea why I said that. I shouldn't have said anything about what happened last night because this was something I should really keep it to myself. But anyways, tried to crack the code. I said I didn't know what and how to say, give me sometime to organize. Then I just left him and when into the church. Although I wasn't honest with him, it's kinda nice to know he actually shows a little bit of concern. Thanks so much.

The homily was awesome. The whole mass got me emtional again. Jesus once again told me that "You are not alone girl. I am always with you." Father stressed the fact that the phrase "The Lord be with you" appeared at least 5 times in the mass. Then there was also "The PEACE of the Lord be with you". For me, there was tears, tears and more tears. But today, He came down Himself to wipe my tears, so in Him, I received His peace. In His miraculous appearance, my broken heart was cured. His accompany took away my sorrows. Speechless but prayers of thanksgiving.

There was a WYD gathering in the afternoon. In groups, Father requested us to picture the image of Jesus. Try to think about the way He looks with the breathing technique. People from my group mostly saw light, white cloak, glow, image of the sacred heart of Jesus, or Jesus of the divine mercy. I was the only person who saw Jesus carrying a cross. In my mind, Jesus was dragging the cross on the way to be cruxified, the way of the cross. Obviously, while everybody saw the ressurected Jesus, I saw the suffering Jesus, who was soon to be put to death. It may just imply that everyone else live in Jesus Christ already. But I am just still glad with the joy of salvation. (which may also imply the state of my mind, desperate to be rescued)

Tears again, why?

Since when I came back to this stage of wanting to leave so desperately?

I don't like to be abandoned. But I must have done something to deserve this. Or am I just that unimportant? Like Amos in Chicago. I feel like an orphan. People will spare me some time but not often.

All these fake faces, so SICK and TIRED of it!!

I don't need you to spare!

I just want to go home.

Psy test result (chinese)

測驗結果

個性

你是個重視美和氣氛的浪漫主義者。你沒有很強的物慾，所以，也不會特意去營造財產。你認為不必買房子，只要有住的地方即可，比起買個房子但必需遠距離通勤，你寧願在都市附近租間公寓住。你是一個在心智上完全臻於成熟的人。每天精神奕奕、充滿自信，同時又很受到朋 友們的信賴。但是相對地，你對日常生活乃至人生的態度稍嫌嚴肅了一點。或許是因為 你給別人的印象就是如此，而你也刻意地去表現出這一面。不過，如果你能更加任性點 ，偶而輕鬆一下，不要固執地想要一直去扮演完人的角色。說不定反而能提高你的聲望也說不定。 你是那種吵架吵完就忘的類型。無論吵得再凶，對方說得多難聽 ，睡了一覺之後，你都好像沒發生過一樣地能和對方繼續相處。這樣的態度，反倒是讓對方自己覺得慚愧，而能順利地言歸於好。你們很樸素又很不起眼，可是卻很實在，知道如何運用錢，也懂得儲蓄之道，不會任意花錢，對每一分錢的花用，都能夠詳加計畫，也不喜歡玩樂的事，只喜歡樸質的生活，所以會被人認為很「小氣」，也會因此而失掉賺錢的機會，改變一下自己略小氣的脾氣，對你很有幫助。 表面上看起來，你好像是一個很好說話的人，其實最最固執的人，就是你了，一旦發起牛脾氣來，任誰也拗不過你，因為在你的內心是封閉和害羞，冷漠就是你用來掩飾害怕和人群接觸的自然反應！你喜歡正大光明與人迎面鬥上，因為你認為自己好像是舞臺上的主角，一定要有出色的表現。所以一開始可能只是一個小爭端，但你會戲劇性誇大其嚴重性，將現場緊繃的張力延伸至最大，你不過是想爭取群眾的注意罷了。只要給你面子，讓你得到一些掌聲，事情就可以馬上落幕。 這是非常小心謹慎的人， 不會為了感情而衝動的作出冒險的事，所以深得部屬及晚輩的信賴，是一個合理主義者，但小心別一味的我行我素，這會使他人無法跟上。你的個性保守,相當重視道德.因此這種類型的人很重視自己的想法,不勉強自己與他人交往,有頑固的一面.你能擁有一份可以發揮自己專長的工作,逐步完成自己的夢想。還有，你脾氣變化無常，有興趣時，能認真踏實做下去，一旦失去興趣，就會對所做的事感到莫明其妙，予以放棄。

愛情

你在感情上是充滿安全感的人，在朋友中深的人緣，從不與人有正面衝突，總是盡可能包容別人，你相信人與人能和平共處，極少無意義的打擾別人，朋友也不會過度打擾你，生活過的悠然自得。你是個敢愛敢恨的人.一旦你遇見心目中的理想情人,便會勇敢的向他表白. 在他面前,你也會呈現你最自然的一面,一心一意追求平凡且永恆的感情。你一但真的愛上對方就會變的有點痴呆，可以說是對戀愛的掌控度非常不拿手，雖然你平常能夠很厲害的抓住異性的心，可是，一但在心儀的對象面前，就會變的有點笨手笨腳；而且會因為太緊張，而無法表達自己，不過這也許就是你可愛的地方也說不一定。在一旁等到沒人時才上前去欣賞那幅畫，正是屬於等候型的人。這種人只會傻傻的等待机會上門，不會自己去尋找，因此常有眼睜睜看著心上人被人搶走的經驗，真可憐！有智慧、沉靜、三思後行，尊重人，有修養的個性，是你之所以喜歡他的原因。一旦與他認識，你會希望與他共處一生。你的個性比較沈靜，可是你卻喜歡上陽光、活潑，甚至做事有點傻勁的異性，你們之間像是互補的組合，讓人充滿了甜蜜和期待的感覺。你外表看起來像是溫馴的小綿羊，不會做出傷人的事，但相處一久，就可以發現，在你純潔的羊皮之下，是一顆熾熱的心。因為你這樣愛到深處無怨尤的性格，才會那麼在乎對方，時刻都想黏在一起，是屬於隱性透明的強力膠。你會因愛人的言行舉止，而產生許多迷惑，你不能肯定他是否真心愛你，也不知道愛情會延續多久，所以你時常為了這個問題而煩惱不安，其實你不必這麼懷疑對方，應該以信心和誠意來對待他，才能共創永恆的愛情。基本上你算是很專情的，只是你好像不太願意去承認這些事，只把這種愛慕放在心裡，面對性時，你只是像個孩子一樣，雖然笨拙，但也純真得可愛！你給異性的感覺是個喜歡交朋友的人，所以跟你較相近的對象也應該是個悠然自得、懂得享受愛情的人。你們兩人很可能成為令人近羨的鴛鴦夫妻。在交往的時候你會有結婚的念頭，尤其是選婆婆的意味更濃。因此，以結婚為前提之下，會努力地去尋覓另一半。你從某方面來說可以算是非常理性和冷靜的，嫉妒心非常的薄弱。

事業

在辦公室你的角色，有點像一個小可憐蟲，雖然做什麼都是實幹苦幹的，可是就是對自己缺乏自信心，別人隨便吼你兩句，不管你是不是有理的，總是會嚇得個半死，雖然你每天都立志要做一個有主見的強人，可是總是有點那麼的事與願違，請努力把幻想轉為現實吧！你其實才能不錯，人緣也不錯，還頗得到辦公室人望的。你渴望成功，也有些野心，但是卻常常後繼無力，無力和人拼到底，所以最後常常還是敗下陣來。

人際關係

你性格剛強、硬朗、率直，加上思考敏捷，才情橫溢，備受各方歡迎，因而每次的出現總像站在台上表演一樣，吸引眾人目光，令旁人羨 慕不已。由於條件得天獨厚，加上有良好的家庭背景，令你的一生都非常順利。若從事學術研究方面，能令你的專長發揮得淋漓盡致。感情專一的你隨年紀漸長 ，智慧只會不斷增加，是個萬中無一的好伴侶。你狂狷的性格總為自己帶來一點麻煩，惹得別人對你的死硬脾氣有點感冒。人家覺得不是很重要的小節，在你眼中，可是了不得的大事，要是觸犯了你的禁忌，十年不相往來是很有可能發生的事。雖說如此，你對於合得來的知交，卻是好得不得了，願意以寶劍相贈知己，出手闊綽，令人咋舌。你在交朋友是一個大好人，但是與朋友在一起的時候會有一面倒的趨勢，小心不要讓別人覺得你在搞小團體。

Discover a Bro

Haven't been to GSU for such a long time. Due to the lack of practice, my vball skill has been a little rusty. It did not feel good when I can't give money passes anymore. It felt worse when I hit it out as a power hitter. However, I found out a very important tip. I should not be sared of the height of the net and just treat it as a girls' height net, only to just higher. Boy oh boy this game is so different from beach. I did not volley anymore because beach players cannot volley the first passes. That's why I have been having these ugly digs with my medial wrists in prayer position above my head, which I cannot control at all. Despite the fact that I played crap, the volleyball part of the night was so much fun cos we all made fun of each other.

At the bar, I also found out a vball friend turned to be a devoted Catholic. Her sister is going to a conven. His Christian name is Xavier and he's having Jesus' medal around his neck even while he was playing. I personally am very happy for him, whatever it takes to draw him back to church. From that moment on, I don't see him as my volleyball friend anymore. I see him as a brother in Christ.