Volleyball vs Life

People said university life is full of varieties. Although this is not my first degree, it still surprises me a lot when I walked through the podium on Monday. There were so many communities, clubs and societies available for students to join. Other than studying, getting into those social groups definitely adds different flavours to the plain university life.

In my head, I could only think of volleyball before I came here. Remember I have discussed with a patient about my life? Volleyball on Monday Wednesday Friday night, Spanish class Tuesday night, I have thursday night open for family and study. The patient asked "where are you gonna put in your social life? Like a boyfriend?" I said... sorry... no time for boyfriend here, or this person has to be as busy as I am. In fact, I am not intentionally looking for one. Anyhow, this patient knew that I love reading as well. So she sugguested that I should do the same as I was in Toronto, go to a coffee shop, order and Latte or Espresso, then read your novel quietly.

"Oh yes I am gonna do that for sure."

'WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT? LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULE!!!'

She's right, I packed too many activities in my schedule, and most of them are volleyball.

Because I noticed that i couldn't live a normal life without volleyball.
Unfortunately, issues about volleyball came up. Not only it takes up most of my time after school, it also stresses me to another extent. It feels like my first year of tricampus volleyball. I definitely do not want to go through the same thing again, stress from volleyball leads the loss of focus in my academic work. Other than volleyball, there are other important things which dominate my life as well. A support group is what I am looking for, and I totally found that group on Monday, or I should say, He found me while I am in trouble. But then it also requires a certain type of commitment. Don't get me wrong here, I am more than willing to commit to You. But this is like Your first sign for me. Plus You told me about playing volleyball somewhere else without taking up too much of my time.

Don't know if it's the coffee, or the pressure for being a student leader in lab today, there's anxiety in tummy during dinner time with YanYan, after I told her about the idea of discontinuing varsity volleyball. Volleyball and Quitting should never come together in my mentality. Unbelievably, this is happening. So I will leave it up to You to tell me what to do.

Injure me, for I am stupid, need something as obvious as possible.

The answer was pretty obvious, without injury.

Thanks for protecting me.

I know what to do, but

... ... giving up volleyball ... ...

for a person who's that aggressive and competitive like myself

...... this is a first ......

My destiny

The King taught the boy that, the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your destiny. But the boy didn't know what a person's destiny was. A destiny was something that we always wanted to accomplish. When we were young, everything was possible. We were not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything we would like to see happen to us in our lives. Unfortunately, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince us that it will be impossible for us to realize our destiny. Although it's a force that appears to be negative, actually shows us how to realize our destiny. It prepares our spirits and our will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever we are, or whatever it is that we do, when we really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's our missions on earth. Once we realize our destiny, all the universe conspires in helping us to achieve it. (Coelho, The Alchemist, 22-23)

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. (Coelho, The Alchemist, 149)

So, here we go. Although it took me the longest time to realize my destiny, hopefully this is not too late. Our destiny may change over time because wants never stop in our lives. Therefore, I have set my destiny for the next couple of years.

(1) 23rd World Youth Day, Sydney, July 15-19, 2008
(2) XXIX Summer Olympics, Beijing, August 6-24, 2008

My spirit and my will should be prepared!!! All the universe comspires in helping me to achieve it!!!

The Alchemist is such an amazing book. Not only it helped us to realize our destiny, it also help us to appreciate life, to speak the same language as the world.

Highly recommended.

Ideal World

Chiara's ideal world resembles moomin valley. It consists of

Natural environment:
Blue sky so you can enjoy every split second of sunrise and sunset.
Green grass for us to lie down, trees for us to read under their shades.

No pollution:
Chariot is the only vehicle allowed, no honk but bells.
Nobody knows what cigarettes are.
The sound of silence within traces of breeze

People:
Human and animals live peacefully together.
Praises and polite words are highly recommended, yet no swearing word is allowed.
We sincerely care about each other, not because of something else
Smiles are strongly encouraged.
Well being is much more important than money.
We should just receive what we work for (or gifts from friends :P)
An innocent heart is very very very very very important!!!

Hong Kong is everything but those listed above. Obviously I am not working towards the ideal world, probably the opposite direction. May be I am too easy to get annoyed. God are You testing my patience? Are You trying to increase my tolerance level? FINE. I honestly don't like it BUT I will try. And You know I can't do it without You!!!

Natural highs

Just received an email from a friend, which cheers me up a little in this depressing environment.

It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _____expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Thanks for having Your arms around my shoulder, Your hands to wipe my tears.

An image of myself

What happens when people meet someone, or talk to someone who sounds exactly like you?

He said he doesn't have a life. He said he wants to start to be alone since he doesn't want his problems to mess up other people's lives. Sounds familiar?

He said it's selfish to have other people worry about you when they have their own set of problems.

He said he doesn't want to be a drag of other people.

He said he did hang out with the right friend, but the friend right left.

This kid sounded exactly like me. The only thing I could do is to tell him what Edwin told me before, when I addressed the problem for the very first time in my life, after 13 months.

This odour of sadness is all coming back to me.

tear drop 1/tear drop 2/tear drop 3/thanks you

Therefore, I wish I could be as caring as Edwin. Sometimes people don't need you to solve the problem for them. They probably just need someone to talk to. It won't take up too much of your time. Be there and be a good listener show them that although he/she is going through some difficult times, he/she is not alone. And that's more than enough.

Thanks again Edwin. And I am going to do my best to offer. Talk to me friends.

Retrieve my life

One of the reasons why I feel homesick is probably due to the disruption of lifestyle: No more sunday church, no more walk-in weekday mass, not much volleyball, no more convenient coffee, no where to sit at the bookstore to read for hours....

However, I started to look for those things myself.

Sunday church....i am still working on it. I've gotta find a home church for myself. It's not like I will slowly drive myself away from church without a community, but God's nation involves people, the interaction amongst people. And only in a community, the relationship between God and ppl will be closer. As He say, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them." (Matthew 18:20) Unfortunately, for the pass week, I went to the Rosary church around school for the Sacred Heart mass, and Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Wan Chai for mass on Saturday.... still no sunday mass.

I knew there were starbucks in Hong Kong. So I went to get a coffee yesterday, my first cup of coffee in Hong Kong. It cost me HK$20 for a tall coffee, compared to CND$1.89, this was totally overcharged. Overcharging for a little wasn't the problem, it didn't taste as good either. But it was strong enough to keep me awake.

Saturday, before church, I intended to go to the bookstores to see if there were any good novels in Hong Kong. Although I borrowed "the Alchemist" from Lucy, I didn't really finish it before I came to Hong Kong. Therefore, my target was "the Alchemist". Surprisingly, this book wasn't found under novel, but under literature. Literature appears to be very classic and ancient to me, like Shakespare, Charles Dickens.... those are literature. Paul Coelho's novel are very spiritual but i'am not sure it should be under the category Literature. I finally got "the Alchemist". What an awesome book!! While reading it, it feels like I am earning life knowledge constantly. For every page I flip, the knowledge pour towards my intelligence, working towards enlightment. This is the true treasure, the most precious thing in life. Anyhow, the variety of books at the English section is actually not bad. I have already figured out the next book i am going to read.

There was a school team volleyball practice last night. I played middle for a while but haven't really polished my skills at quicks. It required a lot of energy. With my activity level and weight gain for the past two weeks, my moves were so slow. My swings are strong, but not fast enough. And that was a lot of work, got exhausted too fast. So embarassing...... But i will work hard. I try not to put too much pressure on myself because i guess i have been doing that too often. At this stage of my life, I should really take it easy.. well except school. The book talks about omen all the time. If you want to realize your destiny, the environment will help you to achieve it. However, I don't know if that really is my destiny, being a powerful middle haha. But I will try, I promise.

Homesick

Hong Kong is such a strange place. All you see is grumpy faces, no, not on a volleyball court, but on the streets, just normal streets. Living with mom and dad again was not as bad as I thought, although sometimes they like to know about me a little more, which is kinda annoying since I am so used to humongous personal space.

My left arm is still so used to switch off the lights when i get out of the bathroom. The fingers are pressing on nothing, I remind myself, this is not Toronto.

My body is complaining about me, for not playing volleyball for too long. My legs are dancing...... my arms are swinging......

The classes are long and informative. I got tired in class very easily..... where is my Grande Green Tea Latte??

We went to the Kowloon side yesterday, walking across some weird streets. Since when the allergy at my nose has gone away, and started to smell things again. It's gross....

How can it happen? My elbow has heavily hit on something for at least 3 times already, and I have only been here for less than a week.

It's so weird that I don't feel like calling any of my friends here this time. And I seriously miss my friends in Toronto.... especially the ppl who "get on my nerve".....

tell me what it is if that's not homesick...