PPTP practical test

The PPTP practical test was tackled. Christmas holiday has begun, since I am saved from the re-test.

When I got there at 8am, the first group was waiting for their turn to be executed. Then when I came back from breakfast, 2/4 classmates failed. Another group went in, and the result is 4 out of 6 classmates failed. Isn't it scary? The failing percentage is over 50%. I tried my best to practise everything in the remaining time, as my execution time was 3:30pm.

It was the worst torture ever. I got sick stomach for the whole time. By the time we got in, my partner did the questions first. My face was all red even though I acted as his patient. Now it was my turn. I looked at the questions. Whew, instant relief right there. I prayed for pronation/supination MMT questions, and I got one hahahaha. The other question was grade 3 to grade 4 exercise for scapular protraction exercise.

20 minutes was gone. Although I can't talk for a couple of moments, I felt as light as a feather as there was no more stress behind me. Thinking about my christmas plans, I realized that I have to pack and clean up the house. We are moving our stuff. It's going to be a busy "holiday". Hate it so much cos my dad doesn't see Christmas as a big deal. But it really does mean a lot to me.

Christmas

As exams are almost over, Christmas is approaching.

Christmas is supposed to be one of my favourite holidays. Nothing can replace the warmth, peace and joy that are brought from this holiday.

Sadly, I have been drawn apart from those things this year.

Last night I saw the commercial about the world tour of Il Divo. They are gonna be in Hong Kong on Jan 22nd, 2007. My heart cried out loud and begged for me to go. One moment later, my brain shut it up. It told my heart that it wasn't sure who else is willing to go.

Coming back to this joyous holiday. Finally I realized that it's gonna be different this year. There won't be any grand last minute christmas shopping. There won't be Boxing Day sale. There will be no more crazy choir practice for the christmas choral singing. There will be no more black and white uniform for midnight mass. In contrast, not only I have to sneak out to mass again, but also probably going alone.

Christmas, by myself. It's gonna be quiet. Probably a little too quiet.

studying....PSL

Recently lost control of my life....wait.. have I ever take control...ever??

Why am I stuck in this stupid subject? Physiology??

Now I remember why I wasn't in physiology, because I hated it. The attempts of building a connection with it.....I probably get rejected...

that's why i still hate it.....

Omg.... studying physiology.... bored to death

For some reasons, I really miss this blog today. It's probably because I couldn't stay focus on my physiology revision. I am soooo screwed. The desire of burning the books and notes has almost come to a maximum.

That's why I am writing right now

Thanking the enemy

An email from Uncle Patrick:

Here is today's heartfelt blessing:

"That person who is hardest to forgive is the one who can teach you the greatest lessons." - Louise Hay, publisher and author of "You Can Heal Your Life"

One of the most difficult spiritual lessons for us to master is realizing that every experience and every person in our lives is here to help us grow and become all we can be. Sometimes the experiences are triumphs and the people cheerleaders, but more often than not, it is the difficulties and the enemies we encounter that prod us forward and force us to reach within and claim our destiny.

Certainly we must be thankful for our friends and loved ones, but we should not forget to be thankful for those who would be our enemies, too. For blessings often come from where we least expect them and every blessing, no matter from whence it came, is worthy of our gratitude. Every single one.

A sharing of Our Lady of Lourdes

Listen in silence because if your heart is full of other things, you cannot hear the voice of God. This is the silent, private joy of personal prayer that St Bernadette experienced before the statue of Our Lady. When I was reading Mother Teresa's book, she taught us the way to pray. Sometimes prayers are burning words from the furnace of hearts filled with love. Sometimes we practise internal and external silence. If your heart is full of other things, you cannot hear the voice of God. Then I wonder, how are we supposed to do that? Do it ever exist? In this world, it is already a challenge to be in a quiet environment. Even though there is external silence, it seems like our hearts can never be settled. We think of school, family, work and other worries. How is it possible to induce silence?

Miraculously, at the beautiful scene of Mother Mary once appeared, there was the precious silence we all have been looking for. Not only I seeked external silence, in front of the immaculate conception, I also seeked the calmness within. Realizing how it is to empty myself in prayers, I see this as my moment with Mother Mary. It's not like I have nothing to say anymore. I could've thanked her 10 million times for a lot of things, could've dragged her about my every single desire. As night time approached, after the Marian Procession, we went to her statue and prayed. We stared at her, started the Rosary again, stared at her, in silence, continued with our moment. She is too pretty to take my eyes off her. The tear of joy dropped, and this phrase echoed: You are precious in my eyes, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4)

Give Thanks

GIVE THANKS WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
GIVE THANKS TO THE HOLY ONE
GIVE THANKS FOR HE'S GIVEN
JESUS CHRIST, HIS SON(X2)

AND NOW LET THE WEAK SAY I AM STRONG
LET THE POOR SAY I AM RICH
BECAUSE OF WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR US (X2)
GIVE THANKS...

In this thanksgiving season, let's thank God for providing us everything. Although sometimes He do not give whatever you ask for, He always give us more than enough.

And we remember those who are hungry. We remember those who are suffering from sickness and pain. We remember those who doesn't have a shelter.

We thank You for coming to our lives.

Volleyball vs Life

People said university life is full of varieties. Although this is not my first degree, it still surprises me a lot when I walked through the podium on Monday. There were so many communities, clubs and societies available for students to join. Other than studying, getting into those social groups definitely adds different flavours to the plain university life.

In my head, I could only think of volleyball before I came here. Remember I have discussed with a patient about my life? Volleyball on Monday Wednesday Friday night, Spanish class Tuesday night, I have thursday night open for family and study. The patient asked "where are you gonna put in your social life? Like a boyfriend?" I said... sorry... no time for boyfriend here, or this person has to be as busy as I am. In fact, I am not intentionally looking for one. Anyhow, this patient knew that I love reading as well. So she sugguested that I should do the same as I was in Toronto, go to a coffee shop, order and Latte or Espresso, then read your novel quietly.

"Oh yes I am gonna do that for sure."

'WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT? LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULE!!!'

She's right, I packed too many activities in my schedule, and most of them are volleyball.

Because I noticed that i couldn't live a normal life without volleyball.
Unfortunately, issues about volleyball came up. Not only it takes up most of my time after school, it also stresses me to another extent. It feels like my first year of tricampus volleyball. I definitely do not want to go through the same thing again, stress from volleyball leads the loss of focus in my academic work. Other than volleyball, there are other important things which dominate my life as well. A support group is what I am looking for, and I totally found that group on Monday, or I should say, He found me while I am in trouble. But then it also requires a certain type of commitment. Don't get me wrong here, I am more than willing to commit to You. But this is like Your first sign for me. Plus You told me about playing volleyball somewhere else without taking up too much of my time.

Don't know if it's the coffee, or the pressure for being a student leader in lab today, there's anxiety in tummy during dinner time with YanYan, after I told her about the idea of discontinuing varsity volleyball. Volleyball and Quitting should never come together in my mentality. Unbelievably, this is happening. So I will leave it up to You to tell me what to do.

Injure me, for I am stupid, need something as obvious as possible.

The answer was pretty obvious, without injury.

Thanks for protecting me.

I know what to do, but

... ... giving up volleyball ... ...

for a person who's that aggressive and competitive like myself

...... this is a first ......

My destiny

The King taught the boy that, the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your destiny. But the boy didn't know what a person's destiny was. A destiny was something that we always wanted to accomplish. When we were young, everything was possible. We were not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything we would like to see happen to us in our lives. Unfortunately, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince us that it will be impossible for us to realize our destiny. Although it's a force that appears to be negative, actually shows us how to realize our destiny. It prepares our spirits and our will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever we are, or whatever it is that we do, when we really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's our missions on earth. Once we realize our destiny, all the universe conspires in helping us to achieve it. (Coelho, The Alchemist, 22-23)

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. (Coelho, The Alchemist, 149)

So, here we go. Although it took me the longest time to realize my destiny, hopefully this is not too late. Our destiny may change over time because wants never stop in our lives. Therefore, I have set my destiny for the next couple of years.

(1) 23rd World Youth Day, Sydney, July 15-19, 2008
(2) XXIX Summer Olympics, Beijing, August 6-24, 2008

My spirit and my will should be prepared!!! All the universe comspires in helping me to achieve it!!!

The Alchemist is such an amazing book. Not only it helped us to realize our destiny, it also help us to appreciate life, to speak the same language as the world.

Highly recommended.

Ideal World

Chiara's ideal world resembles moomin valley. It consists of

Natural environment:
Blue sky so you can enjoy every split second of sunrise and sunset.
Green grass for us to lie down, trees for us to read under their shades.

No pollution:
Chariot is the only vehicle allowed, no honk but bells.
Nobody knows what cigarettes are.
The sound of silence within traces of breeze

People:
Human and animals live peacefully together.
Praises and polite words are highly recommended, yet no swearing word is allowed.
We sincerely care about each other, not because of something else
Smiles are strongly encouraged.
Well being is much more important than money.
We should just receive what we work for (or gifts from friends :P)
An innocent heart is very very very very very important!!!

Hong Kong is everything but those listed above. Obviously I am not working towards the ideal world, probably the opposite direction. May be I am too easy to get annoyed. God are You testing my patience? Are You trying to increase my tolerance level? FINE. I honestly don't like it BUT I will try. And You know I can't do it without You!!!

Natural highs

Just received an email from a friend, which cheers me up a little in this depressing environment.

It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _____expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Thanks for having Your arms around my shoulder, Your hands to wipe my tears.

An image of myself

What happens when people meet someone, or talk to someone who sounds exactly like you?

He said he doesn't have a life. He said he wants to start to be alone since he doesn't want his problems to mess up other people's lives. Sounds familiar?

He said it's selfish to have other people worry about you when they have their own set of problems.

He said he doesn't want to be a drag of other people.

He said he did hang out with the right friend, but the friend right left.

This kid sounded exactly like me. The only thing I could do is to tell him what Edwin told me before, when I addressed the problem for the very first time in my life, after 13 months.

This odour of sadness is all coming back to me.

tear drop 1/tear drop 2/tear drop 3/thanks you

Therefore, I wish I could be as caring as Edwin. Sometimes people don't need you to solve the problem for them. They probably just need someone to talk to. It won't take up too much of your time. Be there and be a good listener show them that although he/she is going through some difficult times, he/she is not alone. And that's more than enough.

Thanks again Edwin. And I am going to do my best to offer. Talk to me friends.

Retrieve my life

One of the reasons why I feel homesick is probably due to the disruption of lifestyle: No more sunday church, no more walk-in weekday mass, not much volleyball, no more convenient coffee, no where to sit at the bookstore to read for hours....

However, I started to look for those things myself.

Sunday church....i am still working on it. I've gotta find a home church for myself. It's not like I will slowly drive myself away from church without a community, but God's nation involves people, the interaction amongst people. And only in a community, the relationship between God and ppl will be closer. As He say, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them." (Matthew 18:20) Unfortunately, for the pass week, I went to the Rosary church around school for the Sacred Heart mass, and Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Wan Chai for mass on Saturday.... still no sunday mass.

I knew there were starbucks in Hong Kong. So I went to get a coffee yesterday, my first cup of coffee in Hong Kong. It cost me HK$20 for a tall coffee, compared to CND$1.89, this was totally overcharged. Overcharging for a little wasn't the problem, it didn't taste as good either. But it was strong enough to keep me awake.

Saturday, before church, I intended to go to the bookstores to see if there were any good novels in Hong Kong. Although I borrowed "the Alchemist" from Lucy, I didn't really finish it before I came to Hong Kong. Therefore, my target was "the Alchemist". Surprisingly, this book wasn't found under novel, but under literature. Literature appears to be very classic and ancient to me, like Shakespare, Charles Dickens.... those are literature. Paul Coelho's novel are very spiritual but i'am not sure it should be under the category Literature. I finally got "the Alchemist". What an awesome book!! While reading it, it feels like I am earning life knowledge constantly. For every page I flip, the knowledge pour towards my intelligence, working towards enlightment. This is the true treasure, the most precious thing in life. Anyhow, the variety of books at the English section is actually not bad. I have already figured out the next book i am going to read.

There was a school team volleyball practice last night. I played middle for a while but haven't really polished my skills at quicks. It required a lot of energy. With my activity level and weight gain for the past two weeks, my moves were so slow. My swings are strong, but not fast enough. And that was a lot of work, got exhausted too fast. So embarassing...... But i will work hard. I try not to put too much pressure on myself because i guess i have been doing that too often. At this stage of my life, I should really take it easy.. well except school. The book talks about omen all the time. If you want to realize your destiny, the environment will help you to achieve it. However, I don't know if that really is my destiny, being a powerful middle haha. But I will try, I promise.

Homesick

Hong Kong is such a strange place. All you see is grumpy faces, no, not on a volleyball court, but on the streets, just normal streets. Living with mom and dad again was not as bad as I thought, although sometimes they like to know about me a little more, which is kinda annoying since I am so used to humongous personal space.

My left arm is still so used to switch off the lights when i get out of the bathroom. The fingers are pressing on nothing, I remind myself, this is not Toronto.

My body is complaining about me, for not playing volleyball for too long. My legs are dancing...... my arms are swinging......

The classes are long and informative. I got tired in class very easily..... where is my Grande Green Tea Latte??

We went to the Kowloon side yesterday, walking across some weird streets. Since when the allergy at my nose has gone away, and started to smell things again. It's gross....

How can it happen? My elbow has heavily hit on something for at least 3 times already, and I have only been here for less than a week.

It's so weird that I don't feel like calling any of my friends here this time. And I seriously miss my friends in Toronto.... especially the ppl who "get on my nerve".....

tell me what it is if that's not homesick...

Our Deal

YOU love me soo much....

I can see the deal between us...... it's working, and I can see Your answer.

Thank YOU LORD

A million thanks

A song written by my Godfather for me to dedicate to all of you:

I never forget the day I join you

I never have a day so happy

I never forget the friendly hands to hold me

I can't forget the love you share

A million thanks to all of you

who brought me the love and the care

Tomorrow I say goodbye to all

Sure will have a tear to shed

Dear Sisters will you be happy for I bring to you only trouble

Dear Brothers I will never be naughty again, but I wish I still a kid as well

A million thanks to all of you

who straight the path I'll be stepped

Memorize each day and places

Nothing is better than that

If the time can flow back for ten years more

I can do better than before

Now let me start on tomorrow

Brings the joy to my door

Farewell from YOSAC

What a memorable night
THANK YOU soooo much
YOU guys are the BEST
LOVE YA

Just...some sad memories

WHY?? do i have to meet him again....

It's not like there's anything between us anymore....

However, seeing him reminded me of my emotional stage at that period.

How my self esteem reached the lowest point ever in my life
How my tears dropped everyday for an unknown reason
How I found out I actually needed to go through difficult times by myself
How stress from school dominated for the most part of my life
How I thought worries would go away after a good night sleep

It all came back. It made me wanna cry, again.
God what do you want me to do with him, before I leave this place?

It does not matter

Man is unreasonable, illogical, selfish

It does not matter, love him!

The good you do will be forgotten

It does not matter, do good!

Honesty and sincerity make you vulnerable

It does not matter, be frank and honest!

What has taken you years to build, can be destroyed in an instant

It does not matter, build!

Give the world your best, and they will kick you for it

It does not matter, give your best!

-Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Lesson learned: forgive is divine. when ppl treat u like dirt, love them 10 times more than normal. when ppl don't care about u, care them more than you could ever expect. Do not count on the return but to love unconditionally.

Gets on my nerve

...... when I finally realize that I am probably not going to see these ppl again......

......My heart aches ......

Praise the Lord for His creation

Blue sky with white clouds scattered on the horizon

Waves splashing at the shore is the most wonderful sound you could hear

Praise the Lord

Goose and ducks enjoy the life of freedom

Sea eagles spread their wings without boundaries

Praise the Lord

Couples share their beautiful moments on the rocks, at the beach

Innocent laughters bring extra joy to this peaceful place

Praise the Lord

Feast day of Santa Chiara

As Shirley's email gathered us at the beach today, I decided to join the crowd for my last day of beach volleyball of the week. Since I was staying at Auntie Teresa's house, it took me 1.5 hours to go downtown. And I decided to go to St Stephen's Chapel for this very special day, the feast day of Santa Chiara.

Although I was late, I heard the most important part of the sermon.

"Let us ask St Clare to take away our anxiety, depression, anger and impurities from us. So that we get closer to God."

Those four things are totally in me lately.

The memories of Assisi came back instantly, that Santa Chiara was with me always. Everything that I read about her was similar to what I was taught. Her spirit towards God, her life, her calling, her faith, make me want to follow her.

Countdown for my goodbye

Alen K is an idiot. I just received an email from him, that he said he won't be in Toronto until after August 20th. All of a sudden, this kid-hater wants to be a phy-ed teacher. I am actually worried about the kids in the future generation. You never know what this teacher is going to do with them. Alen: Get your ass here in Toronto so I can kick it. hohohohoho

As my departure day slowly approaches, people ask me if I am going to miss Toronto. I would say yes and no. It's a love hate relationship. The most difficult part, as I have mentioned before, would probably be the parent part, the freedom and responsibilities at home. At some point, some moments, I want to leave here as soon as possible, not only because I don't have a sense of belonging, but also the lack of self being. A friend asked me what's wrong with Toronto. I guess there's nothing wrong with the city except it's too multicultural that it lacks it's own culture. There were too much I have been through here, alone. I can't wait to get back to the protection I used to have which I did not cherish. People would say there are friends who walk through the whole path with you. There ain't no friends baby. Friends are too busy with their own lives, too busy having fun themselves. There is no room for me; will fit me in when there is nothing else to do, otherwise, I come from another planet.

At least there is one place I feel safe and important. In His eyes, I am precious, useful, versatile, lovable. As He said, "Because you are precious in my sight, and honoured, and I love you."

Moonrise

It was nice to be at the beach again. I think I am slowly improving my game. It's all in my head. It depends on if I want to throw a good game or not. If I want to, I think more, and find the spot. If not, I hit whatever, wherever, and the ball most likely goes into the net. The net today was ridiculously high. I got freaked out from the height of the net, cos there was no way I can hit it over. Just hopefully, it looks easier when we play on a lower net.

Anyways, the volleyball part was not the highlight of the day. It was the moonrise that amazed me the most. In the game, I looked towards the lake, the calm lake ontario. The sky was in different colours. From the blue sky, it kinda blended into turquoise,green, yellow green, yellow, orange, red, violet, then another layer of blue just on the surface of the lake. It was the prettiest thing I have seen these days. My tongue envy my eyes, since no word can explain this wonderous scene.

I stared at this scene for a while, then I saw a white semicircle on the surface of the lake. "Hey Ron, look at that, it's the moon, it's rising!!" "No, it's the sun." "No, what direction is this?" "It's probably East. Does the sun comes up from the East?" "Yes, the sun leaves from the west, the moon comes up from the East! Otherwise they crush!"

So, it was the moonrise. It got bigger every minute. By the time we got to the car, we already saw a full moon in peach colour.

God, you're awesome!!!

HE wipe my tears

My eyes were sore from crying last night. I have not been this sad for such a long long time. Waking up with this pair of swollen, heavy eyes, I went to church, to Jesus' house, to talk to Him.

He was the first person I saw at church today. Fortunately he did not walk away when he saw me. He talked to me, concerning about my future and departure. Accidentally, I slipped out the fact that I was upset. I had no idea why I said that. I shouldn't have said anything about what happened last night because this was something I should really keep it to myself. But anyways, tried to crack the code. I said I didn't know what and how to say, give me sometime to organize. Then I just left him and when into the church. Although I wasn't honest with him, it's kinda nice to know he actually shows a little bit of concern. Thanks so much.

The homily was awesome. The whole mass got me emtional again. Jesus once again told me that "You are not alone girl. I am always with you." Father stressed the fact that the phrase "The Lord be with you" appeared at least 5 times in the mass. Then there was also "The PEACE of the Lord be with you". For me, there was tears, tears and more tears. But today, He came down Himself to wipe my tears, so in Him, I received His peace. In His miraculous appearance, my broken heart was cured. His accompany took away my sorrows. Speechless but prayers of thanksgiving.

There was a WYD gathering in the afternoon. In groups, Father requested us to picture the image of Jesus. Try to think about the way He looks with the breathing technique. People from my group mostly saw light, white cloak, glow, image of the sacred heart of Jesus, or Jesus of the divine mercy. I was the only person who saw Jesus carrying a cross. In my mind, Jesus was dragging the cross on the way to be cruxified, the way of the cross. Obviously, while everybody saw the ressurected Jesus, I saw the suffering Jesus, who was soon to be put to death. It may just imply that everyone else live in Jesus Christ already. But I am just still glad with the joy of salvation. (which may also imply the state of my mind, desperate to be rescued)

Tears again, why?

Since when I came back to this stage of wanting to leave so desperately?

I don't like to be abandoned. But I must have done something to deserve this. Or am I just that unimportant? Like Amos in Chicago. I feel like an orphan. People will spare me some time but not often.

All these fake faces, so SICK and TIRED of it!!

I don't need you to spare!

I just want to go home.

Psy test result (chinese)

測驗結果

個性

你是個重視美和氣氛的浪漫主義者。你沒有很強的物慾，所以，也不會特意去營造財產。你認為不必買房子，只要有住的地方即可，比起買個房子但必需遠距離通勤，你寧願在都市附近租間公寓住。你是一個在心智上完全臻於成熟的人。每天精神奕奕、充滿自信，同時又很受到朋 友們的信賴。但是相對地，你對日常生活乃至人生的態度稍嫌嚴肅了一點。或許是因為 你給別人的印象就是如此，而你也刻意地去表現出這一面。不過，如果你能更加任性點 ，偶而輕鬆一下，不要固執地想要一直去扮演完人的角色。說不定反而能提高你的聲望也說不定。 你是那種吵架吵完就忘的類型。無論吵得再凶，對方說得多難聽 ，睡了一覺之後，你都好像沒發生過一樣地能和對方繼續相處。這樣的態度，反倒是讓對方自己覺得慚愧，而能順利地言歸於好。你們很樸素又很不起眼，可是卻很實在，知道如何運用錢，也懂得儲蓄之道，不會任意花錢，對每一分錢的花用，都能夠詳加計畫，也不喜歡玩樂的事，只喜歡樸質的生活，所以會被人認為很「小氣」，也會因此而失掉賺錢的機會，改變一下自己略小氣的脾氣，對你很有幫助。 表面上看起來，你好像是一個很好說話的人，其實最最固執的人，就是你了，一旦發起牛脾氣來，任誰也拗不過你，因為在你的內心是封閉和害羞，冷漠就是你用來掩飾害怕和人群接觸的自然反應！你喜歡正大光明與人迎面鬥上，因為你認為自己好像是舞臺上的主角，一定要有出色的表現。所以一開始可能只是一個小爭端，但你會戲劇性誇大其嚴重性，將現場緊繃的張力延伸至最大，你不過是想爭取群眾的注意罷了。只要給你面子，讓你得到一些掌聲，事情就可以馬上落幕。 這是非常小心謹慎的人， 不會為了感情而衝動的作出冒險的事，所以深得部屬及晚輩的信賴，是一個合理主義者，但小心別一味的我行我素，這會使他人無法跟上。你的個性保守,相當重視道德.因此這種類型的人很重視自己的想法,不勉強自己與他人交往,有頑固的一面.你能擁有一份可以發揮自己專長的工作,逐步完成自己的夢想。還有，你脾氣變化無常，有興趣時，能認真踏實做下去，一旦失去興趣，就會對所做的事感到莫明其妙，予以放棄。

愛情

你在感情上是充滿安全感的人，在朋友中深的人緣，從不與人有正面衝突，總是盡可能包容別人，你相信人與人能和平共處，極少無意義的打擾別人，朋友也不會過度打擾你，生活過的悠然自得。你是個敢愛敢恨的人.一旦你遇見心目中的理想情人,便會勇敢的向他表白. 在他面前,你也會呈現你最自然的一面,一心一意追求平凡且永恆的感情。你一但真的愛上對方就會變的有點痴呆，可以說是對戀愛的掌控度非常不拿手，雖然你平常能夠很厲害的抓住異性的心，可是，一但在心儀的對象面前，就會變的有點笨手笨腳；而且會因為太緊張，而無法表達自己，不過這也許就是你可愛的地方也說不一定。在一旁等到沒人時才上前去欣賞那幅畫，正是屬於等候型的人。這種人只會傻傻的等待机會上門，不會自己去尋找，因此常有眼睜睜看著心上人被人搶走的經驗，真可憐！有智慧、沉靜、三思後行，尊重人，有修養的個性，是你之所以喜歡他的原因。一旦與他認識，你會希望與他共處一生。你的個性比較沈靜，可是你卻喜歡上陽光、活潑，甚至做事有點傻勁的異性，你們之間像是互補的組合，讓人充滿了甜蜜和期待的感覺。你外表看起來像是溫馴的小綿羊，不會做出傷人的事，但相處一久，就可以發現，在你純潔的羊皮之下，是一顆熾熱的心。因為你這樣愛到深處無怨尤的性格，才會那麼在乎對方，時刻都想黏在一起，是屬於隱性透明的強力膠。你會因愛人的言行舉止，而產生許多迷惑，你不能肯定他是否真心愛你，也不知道愛情會延續多久，所以你時常為了這個問題而煩惱不安，其實你不必這麼懷疑對方，應該以信心和誠意來對待他，才能共創永恆的愛情。基本上你算是很專情的，只是你好像不太願意去承認這些事，只把這種愛慕放在心裡，面對性時，你只是像個孩子一樣，雖然笨拙，但也純真得可愛！你給異性的感覺是個喜歡交朋友的人，所以跟你較相近的對象也應該是個悠然自得、懂得享受愛情的人。你們兩人很可能成為令人近羨的鴛鴦夫妻。在交往的時候你會有結婚的念頭，尤其是選婆婆的意味更濃。因此，以結婚為前提之下，會努力地去尋覓另一半。你從某方面來說可以算是非常理性和冷靜的，嫉妒心非常的薄弱。

事業

在辦公室你的角色，有點像一個小可憐蟲，雖然做什麼都是實幹苦幹的，可是就是對自己缺乏自信心，別人隨便吼你兩句，不管你是不是有理的，總是會嚇得個半死，雖然你每天都立志要做一個有主見的強人，可是總是有點那麼的事與願違，請努力把幻想轉為現實吧！你其實才能不錯，人緣也不錯，還頗得到辦公室人望的。你渴望成功，也有些野心，但是卻常常後繼無力，無力和人拼到底，所以最後常常還是敗下陣來。

人際關係

你性格剛強、硬朗、率直，加上思考敏捷，才情橫溢，備受各方歡迎，因而每次的出現總像站在台上表演一樣，吸引眾人目光，令旁人羨 慕不已。由於條件得天獨厚，加上有良好的家庭背景，令你的一生都非常順利。若從事學術研究方面，能令你的專長發揮得淋漓盡致。感情專一的你隨年紀漸長 ，智慧只會不斷增加，是個萬中無一的好伴侶。你狂狷的性格總為自己帶來一點麻煩，惹得別人對你的死硬脾氣有點感冒。人家覺得不是很重要的小節，在你眼中，可是了不得的大事，要是觸犯了你的禁忌，十年不相往來是很有可能發生的事。雖說如此，你對於合得來的知交，卻是好得不得了，願意以寶劍相贈知己，出手闊綽，令人咋舌。你在交朋友是一個大好人，但是與朋友在一起的時候會有一面倒的趨勢，小心不要讓別人覺得你在搞小團體。

Discover a Bro

Haven't been to GSU for such a long time. Due to the lack of practice, my vball skill has been a little rusty. It did not feel good when I can't give money passes anymore. It felt worse when I hit it out as a power hitter. However, I found out a very important tip. I should not be sared of the height of the net and just treat it as a girls' height net, only to just higher. Boy oh boy this game is so different from beach. I did not volley anymore because beach players cannot volley the first passes. That's why I have been having these ugly digs with my medial wrists in prayer position above my head, which I cannot control at all. Despite the fact that I played crap, the volleyball part of the night was so much fun cos we all made fun of each other.

At the bar, I also found out a vball friend turned to be a devoted Catholic. Her sister is going to a conven. His Christian name is Xavier and he's having Jesus' medal around his neck even while he was playing. I personally am very happy for him, whatever it takes to draw him back to church. From that moment on, I don't see him as my volleyball friend anymore. I see him as a brother in Christ.

Beautiful Wedding

It was such a beautiful wedding that I went to on Saturday. You know it is a perfect match when you feel God's existence between them. Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding (the wedding of cana). That's how important marriage is in our religion. He also used marriage to imply his relationship with the church. The Sacrament of Matrimony gives spouses the grace to love each other exclusively and permanently, and thereby image and manifest the love Christ has for His Church. Only in God, the Matrimony will be completed.

Paul stressed weveral times about his relationship with Ceci was a little different from what normal couples had. They both spent their lives in serving God and His church. He has found a good companion to continue this journey, of serving God. I am very happy for them. They will continue to serve only to a greater extend, as two people is better than one.

Ceci felt that she just finished organizing another retreat. This is not her work alone, but included time and effort of the whole team. I agreed. It was probably a retreat banquet bcause they set up such good examples in the way they serve the church with companions. They bought out good messages during the wedding and the banquet about how to love and belove in God. It was just..... Beautiful.

By the way, I haven't been so proud of myself for such a long time. For some reasons, i was really happy with the way I looked that night. People saw my pictures and said I was sophisticated. I am happy.

Nice beach time

Had a really great time with Elvia and Mimi at the beach on Friday. I was around an hour late and they were two hours late. Lucky that I waited for a while. It was simply laziness that I didn't feel like going anywhere after seeing zero familiar faces at the beach.

The meeting on Monday was long and boring. It was held at our choir president's house, which was very closed to church. By the time we were done, it was already 11:30pm. Another committee member gave me a ride to the station. There, I saw his car. What could he possibly be doing there so late at night?

I am honestly worried about him. His future seems blurried. All I wanted is to follow God's will. I wish him to do whatever God want him to do, to be wherever God want him to be. I wish he is happy with what he is doing. When he's upset, my heart cries with him. Personally I didn't want to bug him too much about how everything is going. However, seeing him upset makes myself upset as well.

Beach Blast

Although it was just recreational beach tournament, I had a lot of fun playing with a whole bunch of people I didn't even know. It was the Heatwave beach tournament which Edwin's company fundraised for the Sickkids. It was a blast!! Not only I got a very nice tan, I also got to dip into the water. It was super refreshing. The water was somewhat clean. It's just there were mosses floating around. (Trust me, those are mosses. It's green......) It was very cold at the beginning but afterwards you wouldn't want to get out of the water.

Too bad we didn't win and some guy from another was pissed at me because I was trying to score. How dumb? FYI, I argued with the ref for any controversial call. You can certainly do the same if you thought I should get called!! Trash talk me about the call that I argued about 10 points ago was just a little too ridiculous.

Those people were so nice to me, I went home with a big water bottle and a cooler. At the beginning I thought it was gonna be boring because it was recreational. Also, most of the players on the team was not very familiar with volleyball. I thought I would just ditch them and played with other people. But it turned out that they were really nice people Although we only met for the very first time, they talked to me, shared food, shared drinks, high 5 me. Everybody got my back when they knew some guys was mean to me. Thank you for being soooo nice to me. Thank you for letting me to be involved in this wonderful day.

Courses

Colin is leaving to NewFoundland on Sunday. This thursday, I met him for the very last time. It's quite amazing that we became really good friends from volunteering. What's more amazing is he is gonna be a doctor. He is going for Med School at Memorial at St John. Me and Miguel are both very happy for him because there are a lot of heartless doctors out there. And it's really nice to know that Colin, the future doctor, is not one of them. Go Dr Colin!!!

He told me a little about his program. He has to take anatomy, physiology and histology in the same semester. The only thing I could say is it's gonna be a lot of work. The fact that he did not take any of these courses in his undergrad doesn't help with the situation. All these courses are very interesting. I love them all, but putting them altogether in the same semester does NOT relate to the word FUN. BUT he's a smart guy, YOU can DO IT COLIN!!

Coming back to my program, I found out I need to take 7 courses. 5 of them are under the Faculty of Rehab Science, which means they are fixed. English and one General Education(GE) are the remaining 2 course. English doesn't sound like a choice, or does it? There are 18 courses to select from for GE. I have to select 10 courses from the list, rank them into different priorities, they are going to me into the first available one, upon my desire. Honestly, I really don't have much interest in those courses. Since I am a new student, it's very unlikely that I am granted the first choice. Here are the 18 courses.

• Space and Time: From Aristotle to Einstein (Conflict + boring)
• Emergcnce of Hong Kong Society (Absolutely no interest)
• Self, Service and Community (Interested but conflict)
• Appreciation of Cantonese Opera (Not appreciated of Chinese Opera)
• Technology and Society (Not interested)
• An Introduction to Literature in English (May be)
• Creativity and Creative Thinking (Conflict + not interested)
• Life and Death (Very interested but CONFLICT)
• Introduction to Logic (May be)
• World Issues and Human Responsibilities (Please don't...)
• Appreciation of Chinese Art and Design (Not appreciated)
• Introduction to Western Civilization (thank God it's conflict)
• The Four Great Classical Chinese Novels (the novels are very interesting but I haven't read of those)
• Wine Studies (May be but not sure if I'm gonna do well)
• China: Regions and Environment (not interested)
• Marketing and the Consumer (Interested but conflict)
• Facets of Human Relationship in Chinese Society (No Way)
• Creating Novels and Screenplay (Interested but conflict)

Does everybody feel the level of frustration here? So i am left with English Literature, Logic and Wine Studies. I have exactly 3 weeks to think about this.

Clubbing @ DNA

Haven't gone clubbing since April 2005. Being on the dance floor again after 1.25 years, I felt different from before. It did not give me a sad feeling anymore. FYI, this is probably the first time I had fun in a club.

This is actually a fundraising event for the Outtahand volleyball club. I guess Dave, our coach, was surprised to see me because I didn't say anything every time he talked about this event. I am probably the quietest person on the court. Quiet yet aggressive. And here I am, dancing my ass off.

A new teammates from Tigers came too. We talked about my future life in Hong Kong. She said I am so gonna change to a party girl. I may not be very active here, but I will change. Haha I don't know. My parents will kill me if I go party too often.

Today, I realized that I haven't heard any R&B music for a long long long time.

Grumpy

Yes, I still cannot get over with the fact that we're ninth overall and there isn't anything I can do to change this.

Now I know I am a very competitive person. Not only competitive, but also aggressive. Serious and scary. It came to a point that my teammate called me Grumpy all the time.

I mean I love the seven dwarfs, and grumpy is a great nickname. However, it's definitely not a compliment. But it's funny how I smile every single time when Am calls me Grumpy.

But then, sometimes, if you don't have this kind of aggression in your head, how're you going to put up your best game?

This is the reason why I am not going to change just because ppl call me Grumpy. I love Grumpy. And I love being Grumpy on the court.

Canada Day Tourny Day 2

Everyone was surprised to see me today since I decided to go to Montreal the night before. It wasn't too late that I found out how rude I was to abandon the team behind because I didn't get what I wanted. Coach would use me when we get to the important games, which is the playoffs. Unfortunately, there ain't no playoffs. We came 9th, the top team in the consolation bracket.

9TH!!!

I was like.... WHAT THE....???

My worst nightmare ever. Still can't over it by now....

Anne, please don't feel bad that you asked me to come, cos it's me who decided to come and no one would guess the outcome would be THAT ridiculous.

Anyways, I am kinda disappointed with the way it ended for my vball life in Toronto. But it implies that I am something to look forward to. There are vball teams in HK and I can play with my friends again.

It's my sister's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!! I joined her gang for hotpot at night. It was nice, lots of food, very tired though, after getting toasted for the whole day.

Canada Day Tourny day 1

HAPPY CANADA day!!!

As usual, we had our Canada day tournament. With 18 girls on the team, it certainly didn't make our coaches' job any easier.

When you start to have a tendency to criticize, you're probably a little too proud of yourself. Although I am a little upset with my playing time in my very last tournament with the Tigers, there is no excuse for me to be too upset and walk away. All of a sudden, I found out I am such a selfish player with no sportsmanship. You can't just walk away from the team because you think your team doesn't need you anymore.

Pride and greed really do nothing good to you but help you to make stupid decisions which make you regret.

Don't worry, I will try my very best to fix this.

Back in Town

My Euro trip is AWESOME!!!

I cannot even describe in words about

how much FUN I had.

Unfortunately, I am now back in Toronto,

coming back to the reality

........ which means .........

......... I am in debt .........

LOL

need some time to manage my pictures... be patient

A sinner´s prayer

I have just discovered my two favourite drinks at starbucks:
Green Tea Latte
Java Chip Frappucino

CB does not seem like a random name for me. That stupid chinese soap opera got me again. The miraculus power and the wonderous love of God touched my heart deeply. An orphan was bought up in an orphanage. Since he had always been by himself, people took advantage of him. Years and years, he learned that fact that he had to take advantage of other people for survival. He did everything he can to gain the most out of other people. That´s why he seemed like the worst man in the world.

In the end, he met this girl, who had a tumour. This girl liked him too but was too afraid to rely on him because she didn´t want to be too sad when she had to go. This man was heart broken. He did not know what else to do to help this girl. One morning this girl found out the mane was talking to a priest outside a church. She went to the church in the afternoon. She saw the same priest. The priest was this man´s mentor when he was young. However, he had not come to church for a very long time. This time he came back to church everyday to pray for a girl who had tumour. "I believe this girl is you." The girl almost cried and was glad to tell the man that her tumour was actually benign. Only treatments and medications were needed for a full recovery.

A man like him returned to church because of this girl. This is very romantic. On the other side of it, he came back to church when he felt helpless. And God listen to his prayer, a sinner´s prayer. Our Lord not only forgive him, but also grant him his wish. Many may think it´s just a coincident or just a soap. But it is beautiful and I do believe it happens in life. How generous our Lord is! We, as sinners, how much, how long does it take to pay the debt? How love us so much that no matter how bad a sinner you are, I am, he say, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Godfather prepares for my farewell

Haven't seen my friends from church for a while. Some of the them went to Medjugorje, some of the went to the Youth retreat. I went to T&W's wedding. It's nice to have everyone together again, before Marcus leaves.

Sunday, I finally gave my Godfather a confirmed decision about my departure. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything except introducing this song to me. He told me to sing this song in the farewell party.


WHEN THE DARK WOOD FELL BEFORE ME
AND ALL THE PATHS WERE OVERGROWN
WHEN THE PRIESTS OF RIDE SAY THERE IS NO OTHER WAY
I TILLED THE SORROWS OF STONE

I DID NOT BELIEVE BECAUSE I COULD NOT SEE
THOUGH YOU CAME TO ME IN THE NIGHT
WHEN THE DAWN SEEMED FOREVER LOST
YOU SHOWED ME YOUR LOVE IN THE LIGHT OF THE STARS

CAST YOUR EYES ON THE OCEAN
CAST YOUR SOUL TO THE SEA
WHEN THE DARK NIGHT SEEMS ENDLESS
PLEASE REMEMBER ME

THEN THE MOUNTAIN ROSE BEFORE
BY THE DEEP WELL OF DESIRE
FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF FORGIVENESS
BEYOND THE ICE AND THE FIRE

CAST YOUR EYES ON THE OCEAN
CAST YOUR SOUL TO THE SEA
WHEN THE DARK NIGHT SEEMS ENDLESS
PLEASE REMEMBER ME

THOUGH WE SHARE THIS HUMBEL PATH, ALONE
HOW FRAGILE IS THE HEART
OH GIVE THESE CLAY FEET WINGS TO FLY
TO TOUCH THE FACE OF THE START

BREATHE LIFE INTO THIS FEEBLE HEART
LIFT THIS MORTAL VEIL OF FEAR
TAKE THESE CRUMBLED HOPES, ETCHED WITH TEARS
WE'LL RISE ABOVE THESE EARTHLLY CARES

CAST YOUR EYES ON THE OCEAN
CAST YOUR SOUL TO THE SEA
WHEN THE DARK NIGHT SEEMS ENDLESS
PLEASE REMEMBER ME

Haven't seen him since the beginning of the month. I helped myself not to think too much, but asked our Lord to help him, and bless him. There was no conversation between us for the whole day. Is it good? Or bad? I don't know what to say anymore, or what to look forward to, since either way it's wrong.

Personal Retreat

Because I don't want ppl to ask me why I won't take the Eucharist. Because I don't want to sin more by taking the Eucharist. Because all the priests from St Basil's went to a priest retreat. I decided to go down to St Stephen's Chapel for my penance.

Taking the bus down to Bay and Queen from my apartment was the longest journey ever, like a murderer who was pleaded guilty, waiting to be executed.

But I kept telling myself, you're gonna be the most peaceful person after that ten minutes. C'mon, you can do this girl.

What if you sin is not forgiven? I was stressed for a moment. A cold breeze gave me a shiver, like an elevator going down to..... It was the most terrible feeling in the world.

There were some ppl distributing flyers at the entrance of the chapel. Therefore, I went into the chapel without looking back, avoiding the ads.

Nobody was at the office. A brother told me how to get someone to do confession, just pressed the bell then someone will come. I asked to clarify, but he was so kind, a little too kind. He came infront of the confession room and said, "So, you press the bell, wait in the room then someone will come." Then he pressed the bell for me and verbally kicked me in. I was like...omg.. what am I gonna do? Do I really wanna do this? What am I supposed to say? He left me no time to put myself together.

Only after that 10 minutes, you noticed all the stress you had before was unnecessary. Don't you dare so compare yourself with Jesus. Jesus will forgive you even if you don't think he will, as long as you know you're wrong and make an attempt to be good again. Although Father told me that my sins are forgiven, I still have a hard time believing that. I mean....it's me. I have done so much bad things, a person who is the furthest from perfect.

However, I met a very generous Father. He even talked to me after the confession. I am glad he made time for me, for some counselling may be. It's really nice that their chapel is opened for the whole day for confession and counselling.

On the very same day, I paid my first visit to the Cathedral of Toronto, St Michael's Cathedral. It's a very old parish which was built in the 19th century. When I entered the Cathedral, I could already feel the power out of it. It was so gigantic that I felt really diminutive in it. The cantor was AMAZING. There were status of some saints, and their relics. There were St Judes, St Anthony, St Therese of Lisieux and a statue with no name but I guess it's Padre Pio. I have been reading his biography lately. His special power and the stigmata amazed me the most. He said, "Do you think Lord just give them to me for decoration?" Right, he has a sense of humour as well.

Thank you Lord for granting me a more peaceful mind after the long stressful day.

Guardian Angels

For the very one night I left my necklace home, which was chained with Our Lady of Mount Carmel, I can't even think straight. The garmet wasn't there. I was this closer to have offended God.

Thanks to my Guardian Angels.

Angel of God, my Guardian dear,
To whom God's love commits me here,
Ever this day be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.

Amen.

Europe!!

Have been wanting to visit Europe for my entire life, I am one step closer to making it real.

Europe, HERE I COME!!!

June 9th - Depart from Toronto to Paris
June 10th - Arriving at Paris
June 13th - Flying from Paris to Rome
June 19th - Flying from Rome to Madrid
June 23th - Taking the train to Lourdes (8 hours)
June 23th- Arriving at Lourdes at night
June 26th/27th - Departing Lourdes taking the train back to Paris
June 29th - Leaving Europe from Paris back to Toronto

I am almost too excited. Can't wait to see this and that...... Vatican City, Louvre, Our Lady of Lourdes, the markets in Madrid, all the cathedrals and Basilicas. I just can't stop the excitement in me. The only thing is, this is the first time I plan my own trip. If anything goes wrong, I will be under a lot of stress. Hopefully, this girl right here is mature enough to handle difficult situations.

Farewells, more2go

Going to a friend's farewell party led to an acknowledgement of another departure in a month.

The former friend is taking off to Lakehead University for 2 years. The farewell party was great. He enjoyed it and I am glad that he had a good time. He has always been a nice person. Chatty yet innocent. But he will get serious if he needs to. It was a pleasure to get to know him for the last two weeks since he has been giving me rides from the station to church whenever I needed. I wish him the best of luck in school.

The latter friend is departing at the end of June. The idea of moving back to Vancouver was not out of the blue. However, the desire of this change was marginally increased after his sister's wedding. Apparently, at least in my personal opinion, he has reached the stage of realizing the importance of families. He starts to enjoy being around with his family. His maturity has come to a phase that he will put family as one of his priorities. This can happen to people who has earned enough life experience. Because only after you have been through that much, you realize the importance of family. Only after you have been by yourself for so long, you are able to feel the kind of joy that could come from a family. Only after you have been through tough times, you know for sure that no matter what happen you will get the support from your family.

That's why I feel for him. And that's probably why I am one of the small group of people who do not tell him to stay.

Departure--hava safe one

Since I haven't had a chance to take care of my fishes for a while, I decided to give them a water change. Here comes the accident. A sudden change of the environment caused stress for them. I think I murdered them by changing too much water. Zero of my fishes survived. Bob, garbby, the neons and rummies needed to be flushed down the toilet. Even Bob can't survive, I understand how bad it was. I am sooooo sorry Bob. My beloved Bob....

All my loved ones have gone to Medjugorje to visit our blessed Mother. Thanks for taking my prayers to the Holy Mother, and say hi to Mother. Feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and find out what Mother want to tell you.

St Justin's Invitation Vball Tourny

Last saturday, me and my sis led the youth from St Agnes Church, a.k.a Yosac to participate in St Justin's vball tourny.

I have never thought that I could have that much fun with them since they didn't seem they knew each other at all during practices. However, on the actual day of the tourny, they all arrived on time. They started to joke around among themselves. They played together. They worked as a team. They helped out with each other. They were the best!!! And they still are. Although they were kinda upset after we lost the last game, I assumed they had so much fun together. Like...they don't blame each other for their mistakes.

They are so cute. I can completely understand why our beloved Pope JPII love young ppl so much, because I can feel it myself. Not that I am not one of the young ppl, just a little older. They have a kind of energy carried in them. If they can gather this kind of energy together and use it appropriately, it could be a powerful tool to make a difference in the world.

Anyways.... had a reely good time... and hopefully there is more to cum.....

Welcoming Summer!!

SUMMER is HERE!!!

To-do list:

Play lots of Volleyball

Learn Latin in Scientific terminology --- PUSH PUSH

Find a place for Sis, and move with her

Lots of packing ... ... to HK

Volunteer work till the end of July

Travel??? no $$ but still wanna go - Rome, Costa Rica, Newfoundland?, Madrid?

Retreat? I think there's one in July....

Going to the Beach... beach vball??!!

and most importantly,

HAVE LOTS OF FUN

Niceeeee

Oh right, volunteer night.... I totally forgot about the time I talked to Bev. We have talked about the story about my crash before. At that time she totally encouraged me.Monday night, I told her about what happened and my decision. It seemed like she wasn't very happy about my decision. She told me to talk to him but there's no way it's gonna happen. (Given that the content she told me to talk about was totally inappropriate) Then she realized that this crash is not gonna go anywhere. Ending it was her decision as well.Then I said, "Isn't it nice?" It's not nice, it's sad she stressed.

No, it's nice. Because I wanted something, but God say NO. Isn't it amazing that I got a direct message from Him? The Holy Spirit come to me. It could never be clearer than that. I really appreciated with the communication part, but not the outcome of the whole thing. Well, I do care the outcome. But if that's not the result I wanted, this one can only be better than the one I desired.

Let's get a feeling of the Holy Spirit......

Reeeeeally Good friends

It's Monday night, volunteering night. It was a shock to hear that Colin's gonna leave by the end of June. Then I thought, Colin, Miguel and I are gonna be at 3 different countries by September. And when's the next time we're gonna meet again?

They are really nice people, a soon to be MD Newfy and a Spanish PhD, befriend with a chink, what a weird combination. But it worked out just fine. Colin has always been there whenever I have "stories" for him. He encourages me every single time when I feel down. He made me feel competent enough about my future career. He's the best. He's such a good listener, a good friend, a friend who shares my worries all the time. Miguel is so funny all the time. He loves the Korean restaurant I took him to. He invited me to visit Madrid. I appreciate with his hospitality. It's just so much fun to hang out with these guys.

Colin's gonna be at Newfoundland to continue with his study, possibly MD. Miguel got accepted to a research program in New York City. And I'm probably gonna move to Hong Kong. I really cherish this friendship with them. It will be nice if we could meet up for Hockey Night in Canada again!!! oh, and a slice of "Phantom" from Future.

Retreat planning....not easy

Haven't been this busy for a while. My schedule is packed!!! It came to a point that I had difficulty in finding room for myself to breath. Sometime I enjoy being busy, but not in this way though. I am exhausted.

I have never thought that planning a church retreat could be this hard. It really requires team work. In a way, I am glad I belong to part of the team. However, I didn't realize my task was actually pretty difficult. Doing research isn't one of my favourites job in my entire life. Nevertheless, I am still very willing to take on this job so I can learn a little more for myself. And I found out I have learned a lot indeed. More update on Youth Retreat later on.

Sleeping at 4am every night over the weekend wasn't FUN at all!!!