Stressed

People told me that desserts is the reverse of stressed. Right, that's right. I tried my best to believe it. However, it's not quite the situation.

Stress could be caused by the past, present and the future. The failure in the past created the stress at the moment which leads the stress in planning the future. Stress could also be caused by the surrounding environment, like working environment or the loads of readings we need to catch up. It could also be stressful if we see a bluried windshield when we are trying to find out what is there down the road.

For now, the only difference between working and going to school is the nature of stress. We all know we are stressful in school. We know how many cups of coffee we need each day. We know how many pages of psychology textbook we have to go through this day. We know how many muscles we need to memorize for this lecture. We know how many more pages to write before we hand in this essay. We know what grade we need to achieve for this exam and we know how many hours of study we have to do.

At work, I lose track of the number of coffee I need. We don't have any textbook to read. We don't have muscles or blood vessels to memorize. We don't have due dates for essays. There is no exams and no study has to be done before a certain date. So where is the stress?

That's something I have never understood when I was in school. Even if I am working right now, there is still a big heavy piece of stone on top of my head. It came from nowhere. The only source of this stone can only come from the same old question (what am I gonna do for the rest of my life?) This is a really weird feeling that it seems like there is nothing I can do to take away this stone. It mainly because I can't find the origin of it. It's so terrifying due to the fact that it seems like it's gonna stay there forever.

Anyways, back to my life:
Crazy choir practice for the coming week. It feels like we are verbally interpreting the music score instead of singing, just like a whole bunch of zombie. Right, I am a zombie again, a brainless zombie.
Volleyball season just started last week and I played like crap. I am trying my best to get rid of my bad habits. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long to get back to my full power. Wait, have I ever reached my full strenght before? Probably not. For some reasons, I have less and less confident in the front court. Too worried about getting injured again? Too focus on my bad habits?
Or is my head visiting London, Rome and Madrid this week?