Driving to NYC....Nervous

I am so nervous right now cos I am going to drive to New York tomorrow. I seriously don't remember when was the last time I drove, although I have a G license and a international license. Hopefully we don't die.

Things have been just fine lately. It's probably because I was focused on organizing the trip for the girls. I kinda got frustrated with some companies. Some of them just simply didn't have customer service skills. And it would be much appreciated if they put someone who could speak english on the phone. It's not easy in doing logistics. Thank God we got over it.

I really like Neil, our anatomy TA. Sometimes I think he is a little too proud of himself, but he is the best TA on earth. I totally understand why Ziah likes him that much. He helped us so much, and went through things as clear as possible. And according to Ziah, he is a PhD candidate of MD. He is hyper 24/7. I think only people like that can be a candidate of PhD, esp PhD of MD. wtf, can anything be better that that? And also, he is cute too bad he is a little too short lol.

So we are done with Dr Lee, and next week we will start histology. I really miss Dr Wilson's Histology class. For some reasons, I think Dr Wilson is the best prof I have ever had at UofT. He made boring things clear, simple and interesting. Who on earth likes to study things under the microscope? I am pretty sure I hated microscope before I took the class, simply because I was really bad at it. But right now, I am not scared, and look forward to the histology section of our anatomy class. How excited!!

Have a nice weeked at NYC. And God, please keep us alive.

Manual hormone regulation

NYC here I come!

We finally decided to go to NYC for the weekend. The blue team enters the NY mini tourny. Since everything happens all of a sudden, there is a problem in renting a van and getting accomodation. But, everything will be sorted out tomorrow, for sure.

The last entry was upsetting. I am pretty sure it was due to my hyposecretion of estrogen and progesterone lol. I should eat more soya product or legumes. But I don't eat legumes, so I should drink litres of soya milk. All I was talking about was the two party friends, who didn't call me out for parties, or beach vball. Think about it, do you really want to go to the parties they go to? But how about beach? What because of the "Asian Hottie"? You guys think he's hot but I definitely think he needs a hair cut to get rid of his "MacDonald" head. Anyways, there are other people on earth. Too bad I am living in a North American city. There are too many weirdos.

I met my partner Colin again on monday night. Both of us didn't know we were supposed to train a new volunteer tonight. And so we had three volunteers, forming a volunteer wall in front of the triage. Since both of them are "Canadian", me, this chinese canadian left them and walked around the department, look for work. It was wonderful that night, cos my favourite nurse was doing triage, my second favourite nurse was at acute, and that male nurse with no smile left lol. Me and that ward clerk got along well, but too bad Jason left for teaching in military school. He gotta share his experience with me when he comes back. Anyways, I was talking to Colin on my way home, expressing the eagerness of moving out of the city. He's like, no, Monika, don't go. They will send me someone boring. I was like I am not funny. He said I was funny. I was like aww...so sweet. From now on, I will appreciate more than before, when other people are happy about my appearence. I like Colin. He makes me feel that I am worthwhile.

Justin always says I think too much. Every time I tell him this,"Function of brain = storage + thinking." I know it's much more than that, but to a brother whose background is music, this is good enough, rather than mentioning about neurons, signal, hormones, sympathetic...blah blah blah..

Going away and Never come back

Richie always tells me that I need a vacation. I tell him I need to go away and never come back in response, every time. In fact this idea does not come to my mind just once. And again, it's too sad to share with other people.

This feeling came to my mind again when steph asked me this question, "It's saturday night monika. what are you doing tonight?" Right, what am i gonna do on a saturday night? I ended up reading my da vinci code at auntie teresa's place. What have I been doing on other saturday nights while I was not reading? The more I think of it, the more eager I want to leave this city and never come back. I understand all this happened after the break up in January. It's been half a year, I am completely over with my ex, but my social life has been crap. Sometimes I wish my friends are more caring than before because of the break up. But people actually disappear. Besides the people I mentioned couple entries ago, ppl from tigers are the same. I wish I could play beach vball when I am bored, no phone call was received. I thought we talked about that the night before, but... And why did she have a problem when another guy invited me to another pick up vball? What the heck did I do to offend you? Eng said I may be asking too much out of a friend. I mean if this is too much, i will choose to leave, rather than dying alone here.

I like to be around my friends, although I don't talk a lot. I need some friends who can accept me as who I am, the whole package of me, like to hang out but quiet. Why can't I be that guy, or this girl? That guy refers to a friend of eric who never talks...don't even know his name.

The song "shall we talk", talks about relationship between lovers, parents children, and friends.

I have No lover, parents who I have difficulties in communicating with are 10 thousand miles away, and friends who don't care.

The Da Vinci Code

Someone was reading "Angels and Demons". I thought, may be it's time for me to finished up my half done "The Da Vinci Code". Since I did the first half almost a year ago, I had to start all over from the beginning to refresh my memory. I could not put down the book once I started. And now, I am almost done, it's time to go to the bookstore and take a look at "The angels and demons", the next book I am going to read.

I walked over to the magazine section, reading 'bout the stem cell research in National Geographic. I was planning to buy the magazine since it gave almost full explanation about the history and the research itself. Then I walked over to the anatomy section looking for some neuroanatomy reference for ANA300, and I've found none. After that I browsed around at the religion section where I found great books about PJPII. I wish I could own "the wisdom of PJPII" but it's like 18 bucks. I will just go there to read it and wait until it's on sale.

I kept walking after reading "the wisdom of PJPII". Then I saw titles like "the Holy Grail", "Mary Magdelene...", "the Da Vinci Code Decoded" etc. I wouldn't be surprised if there were like one or two books focused on the background of the Da Vinci Code, but there were at least more than ten books, talking about the Holy Grail, Leonado Da Vinci, the Last Supper, Priory of Sion, mostly the research and historical background of the novel. I was like holy shit...so many books. Are they just doing that to attract readers, or to support Brown's ideas to create controveries against christianity, or to clarify the Da Vinci Code is strictly a fiction? I didn't really read the books but just by flipping around it, some authors leaned towards christianity clarifying some plots in the book while some were talking about the historical group, Priory of Sion. Although the Priory of Sion is apparently the "good guys" in the book, I highly suspect what exactly this secret organization actually does in reality. I was shocked when I first read the relationship amount Mary Magdelene, the Holy Grail and Jesus Christ. What would actually happen if there are historians who do research about the Holy Grail and the Priory of Sion, trying to reveal to the world about what was written in the novel? I definitely have no doubts about my faith, but some people out there are actually have some sort of evidence to destroy it? Isn' that scary? shoot man..... As a matter of fact, Priory of Sion really does exist, and there are historians doing research on the Holy grail.

Now I have problem in finishing the last 60 pages of the novel. I feel like I am a betrayal of my church, feel like doing penance because of this book.

Canada Day Weekend

Canada day weekend was grrreat. The weather was nice enough to carry out the tourny, although it was a little too windy. At one point, we were just playing against the wind, didn't feel like we were playing vball at all. I had fun overall. The Connex A games was just crap. But we played an amazing game vs MTL free masons. They were a very good team but we played up to their level. It felt sooo good although we lost. We did good defense, asuka was executing while I blocked the heck out of them LOL Hey I got really nice tanning here. God, I look so nice right now....just wait for a couple more days....my skin is gonna peel....eww..

When excitement was over, I had to come back to life and studied for the exam. I was so nervous cos I spent almost the whole weekend having fun. Justin was supposed to meet me on sunday. He didn't show up. But he told me that he was going to meet Brian and Nathaniel at the lab on monday morning. I went there on Monday morning, only Brian was there. We met, talked a little, talked about the arches of the foot, plantar ligaments...... Until Nathaniel came, I studied the head neck region. The best part was the group study with Andrea and Nathaniel. I learned so much from them cos they made their own notes...not like me...studying without organizing it. Thanks Andrea and Nathaniel, and Brian of course. What the heck is the problem with Justin??? I was talking to Richie today. Richie said some people are weird like that. He told me to confront him, like "do you have a problem with me or what?" We'll see. If it comes to a point when I feel I can't take it anymore, I may do that. Just hopefully I wouldn't yell lol.

The test today was okay. I was a little nervous though. I was jumping and stretching around as usual. Everybody looked so intense, so my behavious looked pretty weird. Anyways, MC was a little tricky, as usual. The practical was okay, damn..got the nasal palate wrong.