Going away and Never come back

Richie always tells me that I need a vacation. I tell him I need to go away and never come back in response, every time. In fact this idea does not come to my mind just once. And again, it's too sad to share with other people.

This feeling came to my mind again when steph asked me this question, "It's saturday night monika. what are you doing tonight?" Right, what am i gonna do on a saturday night? I ended up reading my da vinci code at auntie teresa's place. What have I been doing on other saturday nights while I was not reading? The more I think of it, the more eager I want to leave this city and never come back. I understand all this happened after the break up in January. It's been half a year, I am completely over with my ex, but my social life has been crap. Sometimes I wish my friends are more caring than before because of the break up. But people actually disappear. Besides the people I mentioned couple entries ago, ppl from tigers are the same. I wish I could play beach vball when I am bored, no phone call was received. I thought we talked about that the night before, but... And why did she have a problem when another guy invited me to another pick up vball? What the heck did I do to offend you? Eng said I may be asking too much out of a friend. I mean if this is too much, i will choose to leave, rather than dying alone here.

I like to be around my friends, although I don't talk a lot. I need some friends who can accept me as who I am, the whole package of me, like to hang out but quiet. Why can't I be that guy, or this girl? That guy refers to a friend of eric who never talks...don't even know his name.

The song "shall we talk", talks about relationship between lovers, parents children, and friends.

I have No lover, parents who I have difficulties in communicating with are 10 thousand miles away, and friends who don't care.