Absolutely a crying baby

My emotions has been quite dramatic these couple of days. I am not sure if it is due to my hormone level. But I think that's probably it. I cried because I was sad. And I cried because I was happy.

My ankle was sprained again last thursday. Although it has been a year and a half, I still remembered the pain I had to bear right after I sprained it. Anyways, it was so painful that I almost cried. But I DIDn't. I am so proud of myself that I can still walk, limping though. I saw enge online at night. She asked me how my ankle was doing. I told her about the big fat foot. It's not only swollen at the ankle, but also at the tarsal bones. Then I told her that I was really happy that she called me on wednesday for vball. I was so appreciated that when enge thought of doing something, she also thought of me. When I typed that on msn, I cried. Sometimes I feel lonely and no one cares. anne and mim had never called me out for vball, although I asked, and asked, and asked, and I gave up.

Since my ankle was sprained, I decided not to go to practice but singspiration at church. I was looking forward to let out all my emotions to sil, cos he's one of the closest at the youth group. But when I saw the strangers in his car, I found out that may be I am not that close to him. Therefore, I completely shut up. When I got to the church, I closed my eyes. The world was only consisted of me and the Lord. Lord said, "I love you kid. Come to me, and tell me about your worries. Who are you kidding?" I cried, and I cried harder. I let go of my burdens to him, I cried. I felt blessed that He love me, I cried. Oh my Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you.

That was the reason why I didn't want to go bubble tea with the group later on that night. I knew Sil is very very nice to me, and he would concern about how I am doing. Then I would start talking, then I would cry. I didn't let it happen by leaving with Uncle Roger. Sil called me after, and asked me where I went. I told him I left. I wanted to tell him more, but I didn't know how to start. Then I called him again later in the night, wanting to thank him for concerning about my ankle. However, I couldn't squeeze out the words for some reasons. Um...it's probably because he kept talking and I couldn't find the right moment to say it. Damn myself.