Miss Home

My weekend was simply busy. BUSY!! And I spent most of the time travelling on the bus, going up to Richmond Hill. Well, at least my weekend is not emptied. I like being busy. Busy is good. Man, I can't believe I am still in this "busy is good cos it instantly takes away the pain you suffer" mood.

After going to Mong Sheng elderly home, playing games with the older people there, I had this funny feeling in my stomach. Some of them have physical disabilities, some of them can't talk, some of them can't listen, some of them probably can't recognize anybody, including their families. I sympathesize them. All of a sudden this sadden feeling of "not being able to be with my family" appeared. We moved here couple of years ago and I really haven't planned to move back, to live with my parents. I am probably wasting time, wasting the time that I could be with them. Time is ticking. I hate the fact that my parents are getting older as I grow up. And as I am getting more mature, I see things more thoroughly that I aware one day they will leave this world too.

Tuesday night vball is not as fun as I thought. It's probably because of the people I am hanging around with. They are older, more mature, and highly educated (a.k.a=no dummies). Men who already have families really act differently. However, I don't feel comfortable around them at all. They are so serious all the time. No smile was seen from that guy last night. May be he is upset, I don't know. He didn't talk about what happened. It's weird that he is so quiet yet scary.

Monday night volunteering was fun. After a real episode of chicago ER last week, this week is just Grey's anatomy comparatively. I was late because of work. When I walked by the cafe, I saw Flodina (I am gonna start calling her Beverly, her nickname). She was having dinner and I joined her afterwards. Somehow she told me that Bert knew. I was like WHAT? My cheek just blushed into cherry red. Notice, it's cherry red, the kind of red you get from breathing in carbon monoxide. There is NO WAY! I told her. It was Joan who told Bev but Bert wouldn't have a clue. It's not like I would care anymore cos a crush is a crush. It's empty inside and there is nothing more than that. And most importantly, there is someone else. Yes, me and bev kinda talked about it. I can't believe I actually talked about it. I have never told anybody before her. And I am so scared that others will know about it, including the guy. (Man, this paragraph looks like some daily highschool gossips)

The guy. I really do feel greedy, asking for too much. His tallness gives security; he has a child's heart which carries the innocence; he likes to help and will never feel troubled; he doesn't claim recognition from the charity, always knows his post and what he should be doing; he is so educated but never too proud; he has a sense of humour; he is very focused on work and business; his attitude towards life is really good to follow as well. See what the problem is now? I can only see the strength off him. Everything I feel about him is good, positive, nothing bad at all. However, I don't find him physically attractive, may be a little. Bev asked me why'd you like him? I said I don't know. Sometimes things just happen out of the blue. We are only human. How are we supposed to explain everything? If we can explain, we are all scientists; we are all brain surgeons.