Life Lesson

It's been almost a week. With the number of times I talked to my friends, I totally let go of him emotionally. Then I started to rethink what is going on as a whole. It really sounded more like a joke. This is probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever done in my entire life. Why would it happen? And what lesson have I learned from this experience?

My first mistake: I talked too much. I am pretty sure we could be compatible if we met before Jan 2005. Remember back in January, after the break up, I completely changed to a noisy bitch. I like the old me, quiet, shy and innocent. Hopefully it's not too late to appreciate what I had, who I was before.
Lesson: SHUT the F UP

Second mistake: I am intense at all times. Unfortunately, this is just me. I am intense about everything, anything. I forgot since when I developed this kind of personality. I get happy easily, and get mad because of little things. I don't know what I should do to change that. The worst thing is, I don't really think I need to change any of this.
Lesson: Just Be Myself

Third mistake: I don't know what I want. I don't think I am ready for relationship right now. See what happens here is I "pressured" him and "expected" too much from him, although I really don't think I had. So, I guess I have to learn to be more independent before getting myself involved in watever kind of relationship. I need to learn to love myself, protect myself, take care of myself before considering to have a partner, taking care of each other.
Lessen: Grow up and be Independent

I know it's nice to love and to belove. But right now, I am feeling comfortable by myself. I am the only person I need to be responsible of. And for real, I am learning to be independent. When I was in a relationship before, besides my to-do list, I always took my partner's schedule into account and planned what I was going to do. And I also cared too much about what the other person would think if I did this and that. From now on, I will just do whatever I want for the sake of myself.