Stopped being convenient

Although I am very disappointed about what happened with nomis, I definitely think this is the best ending I could ever get. I understand that I couldn't get rid of him by myself. And it nicely worked out as I was not taking the initiative to stop the "i don't know what it is" relationship. However, it's the crappy reason that pisses me off the most.

I wasn't planning to do this at all on saturday night. I was getting ready to go over to his place. I didn't know why I told him I didn't want to go at the last minute, after I was all prepared to leave my house. Then somehow the "emotional conversation" started by me asking the question why he didn't say goodbye before hanging up the phone. I forgot how he started saying that he wasn't looking for something serious in his life. Then I started to clarify myself that I wasn't either and that "goodbye" question was the only thing I was looking for. If this "goodbye" question annoyed him that much and made him feel pressured enough to get rid of me, seriously, SCREW YOU! Well, at one point I heard something like "you are nice, pretty and smart...blah blah blah.." whatever. I was like "what the f are you talking about?" First of all I seriously didn't think we had a relationship so don't you dare to say anything like that to me. And it just sounded too familiar from something I have heard couple months ago.

Therefore, that's how I stopped being convenient to him. But like he could've a better reason than that. I have to admit that I am an intense person. I will pick on little things like that to anyone. Honestly, I would've said that to any of my friends. I just think that is really stupid if he gets frustrated.

But I know I will miss him. I will be surprised if I ever see him online again. And I hate the feeling of not seeing him online. I feel like I don't want to use msn anymore.

Whatever happened in between, it doesn't matter how pissed off I am right now, or am I gonna miss him or not, mission accomplished. Look forward to your life and enjoy it as much as you can. Remember your job in life, from the prayer of St Francis. And this: The more the stress, the sooner you die.