Graduation

I am finally graduating!! I passed the stupid genetics course. I am finally over with university, sooo happy. People just don't understand how uoft destroyed me. I sent an email to Eric, thanking him for being with me in my most difficult time. I have to admit that I wouldn't be able to go through it without him. I didn't expect him to be at my graduation. I just wanted him to know he was one of the people who supported me when I faced challenges.

I was just talking to JP about nomis. I wasn't going to talk about it, but he asked me to tell him something about this young man. On top of that, I wish I could figure out what the heck I am doing right now. Today, JP was actually talking about having a relationship, something that's too early to talk about at this stage. I wasn't thinking of having a relationship with him. I don't know where this is going, and don't know if I hope this is going anywhere. I didn't tell him that I wasn't that involved, but I have to agree that I will never know what's going happen if I don't explore. Since we came from different background, there are lots of room to find out about each other. JP said he is more of a nurturing person than I do, since he keeps a cat while I keep a fish tank. He could be responsible, would like to have something to take care of. Honestly, I don't know him that well. I really don't know what he could be.

Too bad Colin didn't come today. Otherwise, he could tell me what the heck young guys think. So, are we dating? or are we just seeing each other? exclusively? or are we allow to see other people? Since we are not serious, where are the boundaries? I feel stupid if I actually ask him this question. So I believe this is completely my choice. As I have mentioned before, I don't feel like I am emotionally involved. I am just going to live like I am single. I am not going to rely on him. How am I going to rely on him anyway? I have to think about if the other person wants to take up the shit from me. And I don't know why, I really don't believe that he likes me. It's not "I can't believe", it's "I don't believe". See, a relationship takes too much work, and I don't think I am willing to work on it right now.

Today was great. I love it when the patients like me. Dr Martin said that I could be a good nurse. He said I am good with patients and take good care of them. Diane said I am amazing because I am hard working I guess. Couple months ago I had never agreed with people's complement on me. People said I am pretty, I've never believed it, cos I didn't feel the same. People said I am good at this...good at that... I've never believed it. However, for some reasons, I finally agree that I am good with patients, sometimes, not all of them though.

I smiled a lot lately. It's probably because I don't have school anymore, and I am graduating. My goal is to bring Love, Joy and Peace to the people around me. I think I am working towards the Joy part. For myself, I have to be patient, kind, generous, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. omg....I am so a person without self-control. Just keep track of how much chocolate I eat.