One more exam to go

I wrote the eco exam tonight. It went okay. I actually enjoyed studying. I don't remember the last time I actually understand everything in the notes. One more to go.

I got help from Him to get rid of this gagt smell. It helped. Although I was still drinking it, I certainly thought of it less and less. For some reasons, I understood how bad this combination could be, and how much it would bug me. I gradually got rid of it. I will miss this feeling but time heals. I saw it, but I quitted talking. I chose to disappear for a while, so I can get used to how it was like before. However, I can't stop concerning this gagt because I am not interested in it anymore. Therefore, I am going to show up again after exams. I know that there are so many great things awaiting in the summer. I should stay focus and enjoy the summer later on. Right, that's what I am going to do.

I was talking to Thomas last night. It was pretty weird that he said I was more positive than before. That means he thought that I was positive before. He envied my life. He said my life was so good. I was surprised with his comment on me and my life. I had never satisfied with my life. It was too stressful for sure that was more than I could handle. Obviously he could only see the good side of it. I wasn't positive at all in highschool. I was so upset all the time because of the issues with the people there. I just couldn't understand why people thought of me that way. Or is it my smile fooled them all? My life has been a bumpy ride, with lots of tears.

I was studying at the library today. When I looked out the window, it was raining. When the rain dropped on the grass, there was some white particles jumping around. I was like, what kind of creature was that? One of them jumped to the pavement which was a level higher. I looked at it, it disappeared. It was around 4pm. I went to Timothy to get a Latte. I finally knew what that was. FREEZING RAIN ON May 2nd?? What is wrong with the weather here?

Day dreaming item:
What and who am I going to write if I am about to have a plane crash? what will I place in the black box? It was pretty scary. I had too many things to write, too many messages to send to different people. Then what happened after those people received the message? What happened if I actually didn't die?
I was recovered but I had a blood clog near the optic nerve. I turned blind unless the blood clog went away. How am I going to recognize my family and friends? I imagine gagt came to visit. But I couldn't see. I could see how he moved his face towards my hands and let me feel him. I also recognized his voice. I felt his body marks with my finger tips. I cried.

Ciao Green Apple Green Tea