Afternoon dream

I took a nap in the afternoon today. In the dream, I had the most depressing moment ever.

It was so dark outside. I was on my way to visit my "mother school", St Clare's Girls' School. There was supposed to be candles along the slope up to the main office, for some reasons, the candles were not there. I just grapped someone's arm to hold on to. That person recognized me. She said, "Hey, you are Monika. Don't be afraid. We just have to go straight." At that moment, darkness engulfed the world, I saw absolutely nothing.

When I reached the main office, there was white light. The right side was supposed to lead me to the canteen, which changed to a mini library afterwards. Left side was supposed to lead me to open playground. However, for whatever reasons, the right side was renovated to somebody's apartment, 2 bedrooms, some students were cramping in there, watching TV. Then I saw someone waving at me, telling me to go to the first hall to see the performance of the students. The first hall....I have never heard of the first hall. Apparently, the open playground vanished to become two halls. But from one hall to another, there is still some open areas.

When I entered the first hall, some students were performing some dance which I had absolutely no interest in. The light was so bright in there. It was bright white neon light. It felt like I was in a chinese canteen, very uncomfortable. I left and walked towards the second hall. The second hall had exactly the same decoration except it was empty at the moment. I was so upset with the change so I walked to the back stairs, going up to third floor. This is the only place that will never be changed, the statue of Mother Mary. I was so upset that even the colour of the whole building was changed from blue to white. It looks like a mental institution.

I stayed at the statue for a while. Then I saw Mr Choy, the tallest teacher in school. He recognized me. I recognized him as well, although he had so much more grey hair than before. He asked me what I was doing. I said, "I want to embrace this school, and say goodbye. I was brought up here. She taught me the morals and created a mature me, not only physically but also mentally. I was so protected here that i don't ever want to leave. I thank her so much. However, as I see the changes in here, the renovations, I understand that I cannot live in the same shelter forever. She is moving on and I should too. It's sad to say goodbye, but all we can do is to save the tears, be strong and move on. Always remember she had been part of my life, a very important portion of my life." Mr Choy then left me alone to meditate. Other teachers walked by but I don't remember the conversations.

Depressing eh?