Frustration with H.L

I went through some frustration time during volunteer time last night. I can't believe I am having frustrations with volunteer work, the work that I look forward to every week. I choose to do MOnday shift because that was the only time I was free when I was still in school. But now, it seems like I need it to be on a Monday to spice up my week. Last night, it was all Colin and Flod's fault.

By the time I got there, Flod was already working. After the usual greetings, she told me that our friend was not working tonight. And we both knew who our friend was. Would I say that I want to be there because of our friend? Of course not, but it would be nice to see our friend while I am there. From the schedule, the next time I'll meet him during my shift is thanksgiving night, Oct 10. Flod would be there at that time as well. I was all excited and hyper, until around 2030. I swear it was either Colin's attitude, or my insufficient caffine dosage.

Colin was nagging about leaving for a whole half an hour, saying that he was tired from work. I tried to cheer him up for 1.5 hour but not suscessful. Therefore, he finally took off under my escort. So lazy man.

That after coffee/colin dragged me down depression was enforced by me and flod talking about our friend. When I had a feeling that I wanted to tell her, that "i have a crush on....", I knew I was completely screwed. I probably shouldn't say it because this way my feelings leaks out which can turn into a total disaster. But I did tell her, since she thought it was her fault as well. Why? Why does it have to happen? So Flod told me something about him that completely turn her off. She said he is a very insecure person. She could feel that from the way he talks. He could be very nice and kind, but not confident, in a way. We probably have different prespective. I didn't feel the same way when he explained the difference between pronation and supination. Anyways, I shouldn't be spending too much time on this person, since I don't really know him. I only wish he is nice to patients, always generous, kind hearted. Of course it would be nice if he doest that to me too, but it's not necessary.