Stressful time

Same time last year, I remembered I talked to school counsellor because I was really stressed out about school and vball. This year, esp today, all of a sudden, I was so stressed out about school cos I did crap. I was so ruined by the "issues" I had this semester. Thanks to Eric. My marks fricking dropped the whole grade. Although I have to admit that I am taking all the boring courses, like the courses that I am not really interested in, I should not have done this bad. I want to kill myself!!! I was by myself for the whole day, until I saw Ross at genetics. I felt like crying. I didn't know what to say to him about how stressful I was, but he figured all out from the way I look. That's how crappy I look these days. I felt like shit. During the lecture, tears was coming out from my eyes. What the heck? I think it's the coffee. I am blaming everything on the coffee. But that's what I need for survival right now. Sometimes I wonder, why God created coffee for us. Or did he create it as a beautiful plant however we human abusively use it and eventually get addicted? I wish I am not addicted. But I really rely on it for keeping me awake for the whole day although I still look extremely tired. Now I could think of that word: Zombie. Remember Eric told me to be a Zombie, just work like a Zombie!!! I am a Zombie!!!

I don't know what happen to Shehzy. Hopefully he is still reading my blog. I haven't seen him for the whole month after I kinda barked at him on msn two weeks ago. I heard nothing from him. I didn't even give him a chance to explain what happened or to apologize, if he wants to. But I think I should apologize to him if I have a chance. I kinda feel bad right now, cos I felt better from the v-day and the eric issue. Well, his name is still bothering me. I just don't know how I am going to start another relationship. Come on shehzy, we will do something together on our birthdays.

See that's how much I hate March. Although it's my birthday month, it's the most stressful month throughout the year. When I look at my schedule for the next few weeks, I want to kill myself. All I could see is zoo quiz, bio mid term, eco mid term, hmb quiz, hmb assignment x2, bio assignment xn. Man, see how depressing it is. I wonder how I am going to survive.

One cheerful thing would be, Matt, my boss, said he would get some hermit crab for his SW tank. He had some gorgeous fish and shrimps in there already. However, some hermit crabs will make his tank looks more alive. If his guy could get him some plants, like zoos and mushrooms, that would be perfect. Matt said I could tell his guy to get whatever I want. I am so happy, I will treat his tank like my own. I wish I could go fish-shopping with his guy, and pick out the nicest hermits and plants for Matt.